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Marshall The Great Funny Status Messages
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I'm not single and I'm not committed... I'm simply on reserve for the one who deserves...
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03-29-2011 20:53 by
Marshall the Great
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Every time I see an abandoned shoe on the highway it makes me sad that I've never partied that hard.
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03-30-2011 12:11 by
Marshall the Great
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Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a brighter day.
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03-30-2011 12:12 by
Marshall the Great
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The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during sex.
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03-30-2011 12:16 by
Marshall the Great
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If a girl will play video games with you while she is naked, you should marry her.
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03-30-2011 12:17 by
Marshall the Great
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I think this shameless self-promotion on Facebook has gotten out of control. BTW: I am awesome.
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03-30-2011 12:20 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm looking for the "It's Complicated" box to check off on this tax form.
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03-30-2011 12:23 by
Marshall the Great
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It took civilization thousands of years to get us off the farm, and Facebook just one year to send people back.
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03-30-2011 15:13 by
Marshall the Great
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So I'm off to find a bar with a mirror.
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03-30-2011 15:41 by
Marshall the Great
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Excuse me lady in the checkout line in front of me purchasing both a box of condoms and a pregnancy test... How's your day going?
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03-31-2011 12:35 by
Marshall the Great
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Some parts of the world use Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. Me? I just want you all to know how delicious my sandwich is.
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03-31-2011 12:39 by
Marshall the Great
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There's a distinct difference between power walking for fitness and power walking because you have to use the bathroom.
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03-31-2011 12:42 by
Marshall the Great
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I want to be there when Google takes the street view picture of my address. The possibilities are endless.
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03-31-2011 12:51 by
Marshall the Great
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My April Fools' Day prank at airport security did not go well. You may not see me Monday.
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04-01-2011 18:37 by
Marshall the Great
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It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
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04-04-2011 22:58 by
Marshall the Great
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I couldn't stand to see you hurt. I would have to sit down, then I could really enjoy the show.
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04-04-2011 23:00 by
Marshall the Great
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Today I caught myself smiling... I was thinking of you... Don't flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
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04-04-2011 23:01 by
Marshall the Great
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You know that chemical that gets released in our bodies after sex that makes us think we like someone, hey science can you get rid of that?
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04-04-2011 23:02 by
Marshall the Great
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The world is gonna throw us a million reasons why this won't work out between us, but I'm armed with the one reason why it will.
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04-04-2011 23:03 by
Marshall the Great
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The best love is the one that makes you a better person, without changing you into someone other than yourself.
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04-05-2011 14:24 by
Marshall the Great
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