Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Does anyone else get road rage walking behind slow people? Yeah, me neither.

   Gorilla Lives Matter

   You are what you eat - so stay away from the jerk chicken.

   Get over yourself lady, I was smiling at your cat.

   Every night we go to Bed,without any assurance of being alive the next morning but still we set the Alarm to wake up..That's called HOPE.

   Hackers breaking in to old MySpace accounts seems about as pointless as breaking in to an old Blockbuster store.

   I fell into a gorilla enclosure once and nobody even noticed

   Philadelphia named angriest city. I believe it has a lot to do with the fact that the Eagles play there

   I never imagined living in a world where being all thumbs meant you could out text all your friends.

   If you carry a gas can in your trunk, you should rethink your life plan...

   I'm sorry for what I called you when you tried to wake me up...

   Probably the worst thing to hear when wearing that new bikini is, "Good for you".

   If you love something set it free, if it comes back set it free again because nobody else loved it either

   I'm doing a marathon today! 14 hours of Law & Order SVU!!!

   At the hospital today, I parked in the C section of their parking lot..... so naturally I had to climb out of the sunroof.

   When I'm with you, I'm breathless. My pulse quickens and I can feel my entire body get weak and hot. Also, you're a treadmill and I'm unfit.

   I'm in a good place right now. Not emotionally....it’s just that I'm at the ice cream store.

   Just stirred my coffee with a fork. So if any of you guys are looking for a new gangsta bad boy to join your crew, just let me know.

   Advice to men: If a woman ever says "Are you wearing that?" it should never be worn. It's best to throw it away now. Trust me on this one.

   If you sleep with your socks on, please unfollow. I do not support you or your wicked lifestyle.