Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   When your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, your pants are tucked into your shirt. Think about it.

   I'd like a boob job. Like, a job where I just look at boobs all day.

   it safe to snort coffee grinds? Asking for a friend..

   Hey people who actaully spend money on selfie sticks; since you like buying dumb sh*t, I am also selling ...

   People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world

   Who cares if its back to the future day The real version is Marty is on welfare and Doc is in jail for touching little boys.

   If there was an earthquake today, Marty McFly wouldn't notice.

   So who is going to go see Jaws 19 in 3d with me tonight?

   Welcome back Marty McFly...and Dr. Emmett Brown ...Great scott.!!!

   .... Just think ..... after this week ...... everything in "Back to the Future" will take place entirely in the past!

   Fun Fact: It took 4 trips back in time before Marty McFly was able to resist having sex with his mother.

   I expect to see a speeding ticket for a DeLorean going at least 89MPH today.

   ..... I turned my Back on the Back to the Future Day today. Where's my Hoverboard dammit?

   Back to the future was yesterday people hello the 21st not the 22nd retards

   The reason why you don't have a hoverboard is because Marty McFly and Doc Brown screwed up the timeline with their time traveling

   as it turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist's finger before she stops believing that you're doing it accidentally.

   Congrats to Lamar Odom. The first guy to have cocaine and bookers actually save his marriage.

   eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How fcuking ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone??

   Paul Ryan joins older siblings, Rex and Rob, in attempt to lead dozens of grown men determined to undermine him.

   look at this, it's a stick man rubbing his butt on the ground! ________&_________