Funny Status Messages

   It took a movie like Blindside and Jesse James' cheating ways for Sandra Bullock to decide to adopt a black baby.

   wonders how crowded the Cinco de Mayo parades will be this year throughout Arizona.

   note to self: even if someone really needs it, strangling them is still illegal. o_o

   <---- believes that good things come to those who wait.... or have the money to pay for them! ^_^

   says all people have the right to stupidity but far far too many people abuse that privilege! o_o

   You wanna reduce the "Text While Driving Epidemic?" Just create a phone that will input the text as you speak and read you the text you received.....They can bulid it. They have the technology. To make teens live longer and more responsible.

   says Happy Friday @ 5:00 pm! If an ice cold, tall, 22 ounce Miller Lite is wrong, I dont wanna be right...

   I have a stench coming from my arm pit...I wonder if it is the poo I rubbed there

   My check engine light is on. Someone needs to service me.

   do you think the creator of Snuggie is laughing his *ss off because he convinced a nation of people that its cool to wear a robe backwards?

   And then I was all like: "I'm really getting sick of your sh*t." And then she was all like: "To speak with a representative please say representative..." UGH!!

   it's funny how the people that say "I Can't stand Drama" usually cause the most of it. but the people who say "im used to it" cause none.

   Men: You can't live with them, but you can't have heterosexual sex without them. DAMN!!

   BP stands for Beyond Petroleum, well, not anymore, BP stands now for Big Problem!

   eagerly anticipating getting off...of work that is ;-)

   "When I die I want it known I want to be buried face down, so anyone who didn't like me can KISS MY ass"!!!!!!

   What? That's not what "do the robot" means? It's a dance? Oh god. I am SO sorry about your robot.

   I got a letter from the college I graduated from... I hope it's a refund check for my murdered dreams.

   Wait, so the 3 day rule applies to calling a girl, and the 5 second rule applies to dropped food? It all makes sense now

   So theres a new college fraternity for sluts called Alpha Kenny Body.