Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I get the feeling that there are more people out there that have put more time into supporting gay marriage this past week than they have in supporting there own in the past year.

   I don't know about yours but my news feed is starting to look like there's a big game coming up between the south and the skittles factory.

   over weight & a drug problem? New hitting the streets diet coke

   Based on the amount of money in my retirement account I have no objection to them raising the retirement age to 247.

   Tomorrow is Canada Day, maybe we should all go out for some good Canadian Cuisine to celebrate

   You're only young once but you can be immature forever!

   One of the worst jobs in the world has to be a fruit stand vendor in an action movie..

   I carry around a jar with a cricket for uncomfortable silences.

   Why people stopped wearing swords everywhere is beyond me?

   Me and her are having a poking battle on Facebook, so you can say things are getting pretty serious.

   I've been on a million first dates in my life, but there is still no rejection like a toddler refusing to high five you back...

   I make her coffee every morning exactly the way she likes it because I love her... and because if I didn't she would stab me repeatedly.!

   Kindly read the book which hasn't been adulterated by Human additions/versions. The Book which is timeless and has been perfected for all mankind (till da end). Apparently, Straight Pride is nw frowned upon. What a m3ntally r3tarded society we live in

   If I were a hooker, I'd definitely market myself as "roadside assistance".

   Just had coffee so black that it looted the silverware from the table.

   Now we have to see our suspected gay FB friends under a colored rainbow app...

   Accidentally went grocery shopping hungry and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 6...

   Too bad the Kardashians drove off into a snow ditch and not off a cliff....

   President Obama just stepped out of the White House on this Presidents Day and seen his shadow. Looks like we're in for another year of bullshit....

   Notice how the KFC and the Burger King in Ferguson suffered no damages in the riots. Brother has gotta eat....