Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   My news feed is starting to look like a battle broke out between the Confederates and a skittles factory.

   Hot girls look even hotter when riding a bike. Fat girls look even fatter while riding a bike. It's science.

   Everyone's all "confederate flag" this, "gay marriage" that. And I'm just sitting here waiting for the new Minions movie to come out.

   Gay Marriage legal and not one Bruce Jenner joke. You guys need to step up your game.

   What was that idiot thinking when he invented white underwear?

   Guy:My hair is not usually this messy. Girl: Really? Your hair is saying, "I wish I was emo so I can cut myself"

   I would totally watch a House Hunters companion show that explains how some of these idiots have so much freakin' money.

   I never ever delete messages… just in case someone decides to start acting different like you weren’t saying that May 14, 2013 at 1:22 PM.

   Those annoying "live chat" customer service pop-ups go away if you ask them what they're wearing.

   Gay marriage is now legal. In related news Caitlyn Jenner has decided to marry herself under the surname Jenn Brucer

   i'm a Maths terro$$ist with close ties to Algebra,i have weapons of math instruction.

   n't it ironic that a woman wears makeup, mascara, a push up bra, spanx and high heels but wants a man who's honest!

   Why has Skittles taken over everyones Facebook profile pictures???

   So, how long before we can marry our cousins, brother, sister, pets or all of the above at the same time? Asking for a friend.

   Don't know who's happier, the gay community or the ABA

   It takes a 75% vote to be inducted to the Hall of Fame but only 9 people to decide for 500 million Americans ... Hmmmm

   I get ignored so much my name should be terms and conditions.

   [Marketing Meeting] "Let's say people get laid when they eat our chips." Nope, too direct... "What about "Lays" Potato chips?" Perfect!.

   The inventor of yodelling has died. Sadly, so did his little old lady too.

   Gay marriage absolutely has affected me. I sat on my couch tonight, looked around, and questioned the decor in my living room.....these colors are so last week.