Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, TREE TEQUILA., floor

   one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR!

   What if there were no hypothetical questions?

   -I would stop eating chocolate but i'm not a quitter!

   glad to see they are considering banning ED drug ads during the day. I hope the penalties are stiff.

   pointing blow dryers at passing cars.

   finished fitting a flux capacitor to his landrover and just realised it wont do 88 mph, NOT EVEN DOWNHILL.

   trying to remeber what she wasn't supposed to forget :-/

   got 2 be better than Jack Bauer. He got scared half to death TWICE and still lived!

   life is not like a box of chocolate

   There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't

   Bow before me for I am root

   A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

   says "Oh, you hate your job, and you don't have enough money" Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet right down the street at the place called EVERYWHERE!".

   the capital of Montana is not Hannah

   thinking 'if girls had 'mute' buttons!!'

   Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are ok, you're it.

   Two people in every one is a schizophrenic.

   wondering, aside from that one thing, how did Mary Todd Lincoln like the play?

   dyslexics are teople poo