Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   questioning her invisibility potion

   happy Cinco de Drinko!

   been brought to you today by the letters B and M, and by the number 2.

   due to the current financil restraints, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until final notice.

   saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."

   on a bus with his goldfish Gill, going to Lake Winnipesaukee to see Dr. Leo Marvin.

   here for your entertainment!

   frustrated that he knows all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask him the questions.

   Who decided that a round pizza should be put in a square box?

   Do "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and "The Alphabet Song" have the same tune?

   when life hands you apples, make apple juice!....or I guess you could just eat the apples, its really your call

   wondering...DO SHEEP SHRINK IN THE RAIN?

   If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.

   wishes his lawn was emo, then maybe it would cut itself.

   wondering...if jellyfish eat jellybeans..do they get gas?

   Give Yourself a Haircut Tip # 1: Don't

   Asks .... Why dont they make mouse flavoured cat food?

   I pretend to work since they pretend to pay me...

   knows Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words...

   quit his job in the helium gas factory today!!, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone