Funny Status Messages

   'do you think the queen ever pulls the covers up to her chan and says "look phillip, i'm a stamp"'

   I'm getting a massage tonight, so I drew a treasure map on my stomach. It's pretty self explanatory.

   The attack on the Pope was really his own fault. After all he was wearing Axe Body Spray.

   Can't believe Larry King has has been caught cheating...he's 76 why are all these women trying to get in his diaper...

   you know you're getting old when you see a beautiful 19 year old girl and wonder what her mother looks like.

   I have a secret, I see offline people....

   going outside to walk around in circles....cause thats how I stroll.

   my girlfriend sucks........Thank God!!!

   Tiger Woods has had sex with more women than my girlfriend will even let me be Facebook friends with.

   Who is "Taxes" and "IRS"? Those jerks have been sending me junk mail for years.

   just used my get out of work free card, Headed to Boardwalk

   I used to live in a residential building until a few hookers moved in on the 3rd floor - now it's a commercial building...

   I stepped on a corn flake in the kitchen, does that make me a cereal killer?

   After many attempts to drown my sorrows, I'm starting to fear they may have learned to swim.

   a suicide bomber. Suicide bomber training: Now watch carefull, because I'm only going to show you this once.

   probably going to Hell in at least 2 different religions

   a suicide bomber instructor. Suicide bomber training: Now watch carefully, because I'm only going to show you this once.

   does anyone else always feel really bad playing that 'No Russian' mission on Modern Warfare 2, but at the same time loving it?

   thinks that if you post an album titled "WeDdInG PhoToS", you are probably too young to be married.

   A Tip Having anything Like XXYoUnGmOn3y666xx As your Name equals Fail