Funny Status Messages

   Immediately like this status if you automatically restart a game when you know your gonna lose!

   Cops never say "Thanks for committing crimes and keeping us employed." It's just plain selfish!

   A Middle Eastern man bought a lot of stuff off the internet but never received it. Unfortunately he was E-gypt.

   Tu pac's of Eminems are 50 cents, That's Ludacris! I want my Nickelback.

   Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars.... I could really use a wish right Now. B.O.B

   Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land." Then about 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel

   this is the promised land." Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and bankrupted the promised land.

   why kiss....when you can tell her lips a secret.

   Larry King's wife is accusing him of cheating on her. "Yeah, get in line," said Death.

   Thinking about starting a new diet, it's called the "Sight Unseen Diet." If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

   I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.

   I'm out like Obama in 3 years. Nite all!

   9:30 PM Central... Facebook gets a bright idea... Hey, lets shut chat down for maintenance.....

   "what happens in vegas, stays in vegas...except herpes, that sh*t will come back with you"

   wonders who's bright idea it was to shut down facebook chat for maintenence -___-

   The jersey shore cast is dumber than a 5th grader..

   There are no Puerto-Ricans on Star Trek...It appears they don't work in the future either........

   I can read minds... Youre reading my status right now arent you..

   I dont get when people say "I remember my first beer".... Cause I sure as hell dont..

   did you know that the word "bed" looks like a bed itself?