Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   This CNN coverage of a missing plane is the longest episode of Gilligan's Island I've ever watched.

   It's weird how starving people aren't allergic to gluten.

   I've always had this fantasy to make love to two women......... Like, in the same year

   They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.

   Has anyone even considered that the missing Malaysian airliner just may have been Wonder Woman's invisible jet?

   Don't justify aggressive behavior with cultural diversity.

   The president announced his bracket for the NCAA tournament. March Madness and Obama is predicting Michigan State will beat Louisville to win the national championship. Going by Obama's past predictions, I want to congratulate Louisville on their big wi

   Lawmakers here in New York are considering a plan to bring slot machines to LaGuardia Airport. Of course there's always that other way to gamble at LaGuardia — checking a bag.

   of all the things i've lost, I miss my childhood the most...

   Note to self: Don't photobomb someone getting an MRI

   Note to self: Don't photobomb someone getting a mammogram

   Maybe Obama should have pitched Obamacare on Shark Tank?

   Ladies, you can stop with the expensive bikini wax treatments. I have a roll of duct tape. . .

   The great thing about being a guy is I don't have to put on a "face" to go outside. All I have to do is make sure my nutsack isn't showing and I'm pretty much golden

   My wife told me to whisper dirty things to her, so I said "The Kitchen, Living room, Bedroom....

   Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing,,Me, So the neighbors don't think I'm beating you

   Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa.

   Love your neighbor. But don't get caught.

   Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...

   The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.