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me? addicted to facebook? naah... (why isnt anybody commenting on this status!!! I'm waiting for the red number to pop up)... 
the reason you get up in the morning <3
printing off a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills
thinks they need to have a twelve-step help group for compulsive talkers. They would call it On Anon Anon.
1) Scroll to the bottom of your Facebook page. 2) On the bottom left corner, click English: US. 3) When the language selection appears, click English: Pirate. 4) watch what happens.
always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower for cryin' out loud!
9000 POEPLE ARE HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW...2000 ARE KISSING...1000 ARE ENJOYING ORAL... AND ONE LONELY F##KER IS READING MY STATUS......YOU HANG IN THERE SUNSHINE
an over stock of duck sausage, why don't you come duck down and get you some.
feeling sleepy, sneezy, bashful, happy, dopey, grumpy, but i'm not feelin doc though.
has no problem applying Icy Hot to all the sensitive areas.
will be taking cpr and first aid tomorrow. after that, let me know if you need assistance
i am sick , radiating moon beams from my television ..reinforce my mass produce neurosis .....filter through bacon pies and and down spouts of grease help my shoes walk another day ..pass fears and smiles of everyday people
the swine flu. damn you porky pig.
"remember kids. If approached by a bear, rub your body with blueberry syrup and salmon."
naked eating cheetos
the wizzard of ahhhs
has just put his hamster in the kettel with a spoon full of honey and 2 paracetemol and boiled it............... I thought he had swine flu
thinks the world is her oyster. Now if only she could find a shucking knife.....
never finishes anythi
rejects your reality and substitutes his own properly medicated version.
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