Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
2014 is so close I can almost taste the lips I will not be kissing on New Year's Eve 
That moment when you have so many things to do and decided to take a nap instead
Oh, your in a relationship now? No more ‘LIKES’ for you!
A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.
that annoying moment when you close the wrong tab
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
I miss being able to slam my phone shut when I hang up on somebody. Violently pressing "end call" just doesn't do it for me
pizza is the only love triangle I want
im not sure if I'm hungry but I'm gonna eat anyway just in case
When Obama was talking about " Change" in his Inaugural speech I didn't realize he was talking about that's all we would have left in our pockets.
"Try googling Google and then hit lucky.....then Bing Bing, and Yahoo Yahoo. If you really bored Bing Google then Google Bing Yahoo" - me at the bar talking to a nerdy girl drunk!
Obama and Jerry Jones need to get together and figure out what they are doing wrong with America and America's Team.
this fat free dinner taste like sadness!
I post political status on Facebook just to watch my friends battle each other like it's The Crips Vs Bloods...
K. K .K members never turn their TVs off cuz they don't want the screen to be black
Kant Know Anything West aka Kanye West
My parents think I'm bad, but if they saw how half my friends treat their parents, they'd appreciate me more.
If you can't be happy, at least you can be drunk.
No honey, I didn't invite you hiking just because you're fat, and bears will target you first. I also think you make great trail mix.
I didn't say I hope you choke on your next meal. I said, I hope theres some reruns of Ally McBeal. Silly. -when adult rhymes save marriages 