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Kissing a sleeping woman in an animated Disney movie, romantic.....but do it on a bus and the judge doesn't agree. 
When one door closes…you could just re-open it. Because that's how doors work, they open and close.
I am no longer swayed by numbers. I no longer trust figures. If there is one thing statistics have shown me its that we now have more idiots on this planet than normal folks. I refer you to number of people who follow Justin Bieber on twitter.
If your keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you're losing...
MB. If you're keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you're losing...
What if the cure for cancer is in the mind of someone who cant afford an education?
Talked to my ex yesterday for 10 minutes without beating the $ hit out of them. Where's my Nobel Peace Prize??
Explosion at Boston Marathon blame the bomber. Shooting at school blame the gun?? Idiocracy?
I was in the middle of a selfie and my mother walked in, now all she can say is "don't worry son everyone's doing that."
When one door closes another one opens. Or you could jut re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
Ants kill around 30 people a year......Marijuana is safer than ants.
Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.
Men have nuts and women are nuts. God is so silly...
Hopefully Kim Jong Un will mistake Dennis Rodman for his other uncle
If Santa's helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?
I just found out people are playing golf online. And I thought my life sucked!
My high-school was a magnet school. All the girls were repelled by me.
Life is all about deciding how much crazy you can live with.
Everyone knows the way to a girl's heart on facebook is to like every picture and wall post she makes. 