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I'm pretty sure I just saw a tube clip of Miley Cyrus online. I'm not talking about Youtube either. 
Age isnt a number clearly its a word
What temperature does Miley boil at??
I ran to the liquor store minutes before it closed!! **crosses "Run Marathon" off of my bucket list**
Q: What do you call that ugly blob of flesh around Miley Cyrus's navel? A: Miley Cyrus.
I'm very confused. I just saw a commercial asking for food donations to feed the poor on a tv show where a guy eats a 5 lb buritto...
R.I.P Brian Griffin. Family GUy won'y be the same without you...
I had a choice tonight to either watch the Redskins lose on Monday Night Football or clean the toilets in my house. Since I didn't feel like throwing up this evening I'm cleaning house
You know you're getting old when the hot girls you slept with in high school post fat grandma pictures....
richey rich needs to loan our country some money
My friend has just started his own business manufacturing landmines that look like prayer mats. Apparently, prophets are going through the roof.
Bought a cheese grater for a blind friend... He said it was the most violent book he's ever read.
Just got her first early Christmas present. A sweater!.. All she really wanted was a moaner or a sceamer.
At a recent job interview: What would you consider to be your main weaknesses and strengths? 'Well, my main weakness would be my issues with reality, telling what's real from what's not.' And your strengths? 'I'm Superwoman!'
I remember how it felt soooo good to turn my lights out for Earth Hour... On hindsight, I probably shouldn't have been driving at the time.
My anti-aging face cream gave me acne... No need to go that young, L'Oreal!
has just realized that if you change the word 'wand' to 'wang' in the Harry Potter books... they suddenly become a lot more amusing.
dreamt she was a muffler last night.... and woke up totally exhausted.
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Add your area code. Subtract your age. Add some common sense. What are you even doing with your life?
No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one 