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Cocaine worth estimated R10 000 000( $1000 000) was confisticated inside Obama's luggage, in his defense, Obama said people must keep their NOSE out of his business 
ESPN reports that Aaron Hernandez is being investigated for the disappearance of Manti Teo's girlfriend
I don't want to sound like an alarmist but,,, Wooooop Wooooop Rearrearrearrear
There's something about today that wants me to be hungover tomorrow.
This beer sure tastes like I'm on vacation next week!!!
I have reached that point of my day where no more productivity is possible...
Marriage counseling... because sometimes your wife needs to hear from a professional that she's being a bîtch.
" Aaron Hernandez killed my girlfriend too." Manti Te'o
Worst thing in the world is being surprised in your office by a colleague after a particularly toxic fart...
You're uglier than..... well, you're the example.
Keep your friends close but your cupcakes closer.
Dumb is the new smart...
Another World's Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.
I've never sky dived before, but I have zoomed in REAL FAST on Google Earth!!
If you're in a committed relationship and you have no intentions of marrying that person, you are wasting both or your time.
Chicks be talking bout #TeamNoKids after 6 abortions. No bitttch you a serial killer!
James Gandolfini is dead of a heart attack and Dick Cheney is alive and well. So go ahead and remove "karma" from the dictionary.
I ain't much of a looker. Which is why I often get run over when I cross the road.
I drove so bad today that the voice from sat-nav said " pull over I want to get off"
What came first? The alcohol or the bad life decision? 