Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Hey Jasper, creative genius from the Snapple half and half commercial... I'm pretty sure Arnold Palmer was slightly ahead of your "discovery"
←Rate | 06-26-2013 08:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you ever go on Youtube just to watch a music video and then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?
←Rate | 06-26-2013 08:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hi there beautiful, can I drive you to drink?
←Rate | 06-26-2013 09:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You only get eight or nine chances with me. That's it.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 09:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wooing a girl is just where you keep shouting WOO! in their face, right?
←Rate | 06-26-2013 09:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're not superstitious; you're super-stupid!
←Rate | 06-26-2013 09:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the word for when someone realize that they love you after it's too late? Oh yeah, "get lost loser".
←Rate | 06-26-2013 09:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 09:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, New England Patriot, Aaron Hernandez, was thrown into jail this morning. Looks like he's going from a tight end position to a wide receiver.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 09:34 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: The Cinncinatti Bengals have announced that they have entered into negotiations with the New England Patriots to trade for Aaron Hernandez..
←Rate | 06-26-2013 09:42 by Michael Comments (1)  


   messageicon Got caught pissing in the swimming pool yesterday at the local YMCA. The lifeguard shouted so loud that I nearly fell in.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 10:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well... with the SCOTUS ruling on gay marriage... I think its safe to say that a Bieber / Cyrus wedding is inevitable.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 10:58 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aaron Hernandez is going to jail as a Tight End and will leave jail as a Wide Receiver
←Rate | 06-26-2013 11:19 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kanye West's album Yeesuz sold 327,000 copies in its first week. I Recorded my dog barking at the mailman and 1st week sales were 400,000 copies. Take that Kanye!!!
←Rate | 06-26-2013 12:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love with no expectations in return and you will know how to love yourself more than anyone could in this screwed up world.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 12:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our inner demons would get along wonderfully.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 12:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My husband gets so confused when I say yes to sex, you'd think I changed the location of his food bowl.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 12:41 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't rubbed one out in a week. Anyone have a bucket I can borrow??
←Rate | 06-26-2013 13:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friendship isn’t about being there when it’s convenient, it’s about being there when it’s not.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 13:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women's facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren't looking at her face.
←Rate | 06-26-2013 13:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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