DYLAN BOSCH Funny Status Messages

   still wants to know if everybody's still attending my Huge Orgy Party held on December 21, 2012 at my place?"

   A Brunette, A Blonde and a Man with Dandruff walk out of an Elevator, The Brunette says to the Blonde "Someone need's to give that guy some Head & Shoulders!" the Blonde asks "How do you give Shoulders?"

   Never hold your farts in. They go up your Spine then into your mind and that's where you're shi*ty idea's come from!"

   Alright! Drunk me from last night made hungover me some epic sandwiches for lunch today. Man, I love that guy!" :)

   Nobody goes to that Bar anymore. It's too crowded... wait, what, nevermind, let's go!"

   Dear people in the apartment beneath me: banging on your ceiling doesn't make me want to finish any sooner. It actually makes me want to leave the vacuum on indefinitely....and I think I'll go take a shower now, too."

   Restaurants, please stop trying to get clever with your restroom signs. I have a very small bladder."

   The Klondike Bar found out what I did for it, and now it's blackmailing me."

   Nothing pisses me off like a bird WALKING across a street. No it's cool. I'll wait. BTW You can FLY dumbass!

   found out softcore porn isn't like real sex, it doesn't fade out to a candle, waterfall or something lame like that."

   "I Hate or Can't Stand Drama" is translation for "I'm gonna be the first one to cause all the Drama Tonight, just thought I would give you the heads up!"

   EPIC FAIL: Ripping the easy-open tab right off the last can of chef boyardee ravioli and not having a can opener to back it up."

   never shout out "Fruit Cake" at a gay wedding. You never know who your gonna offend."

   Women ask for advice on what to wear and then end up wearing the exact opposite.. that's why I think Snow Pants and Leather Jackets are sexy as hell on them."

   it says on my sidebar on facebook.. "Many of people who like Lindsey Lohan also liked Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" Oh no, that can't be good.

   Heigh ho! Heigh ho! It's Off to the Bar I go.."

   I Don't Care what anybody says, Nothing says I Love you more like standing in line for you're girl to buy tampax pearl."

   Why do we say sorry even when they bumped into us? It's way funnier when people say "Excuse You" anyways.

   dislikes people who make fun of Brett Favre just because of his age. Basically all you're saying is "He's older then me, and still play's the game better then I ever will."

   alot of people when they go to concerts they yell out "Wooo! or Yeah!" I like to yell out more specific things like "The way you play you're Music makes feel Good Inside!!"