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considering starting a Hooters for us girls. It will be called C*cks, feature a rooster instead of an owl, and only hire gorgeous, well-hung boy toys. 
when you think your life sucks, just remember that somewhere in the world is one poor b*stard named Mr. Pelosi....
does not think of himself as fat, he thinks of himself as being famine and drought resistant.
I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!'
NCAA March Madness Bracket TIME OF DEATH: 11:33pm, 03-18-10
it's not me or my actions that bug you, it's that you let them bug you.
thinks the only reason the Easter bunny hides his eggs is cause he doesn't want anyone to know he screwed a chicken.
Nothing good can come from marrying a guy named Jesse James.
There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends.. Good job.. Good food.. Good sleep..&"GOOD _UCK" whatever you are thinking. That's right! :D
The only one in my family to have a personal trainer is my dog.
Dont say i'm a "law abiding citizen" to the deputy who pulled you over with katt williams
nothing worse than whacking the door frame with morning wood
To Sandra Bullock.. Dear "Miss Congeniality", I suggest you come up with a "Proposal" to figure out a good "Time to kill" Jesse James so you won't be "Blindsided" again....
waiting for an orgy on monday.....when everyone will get screwed as soon as the results are declared...
why is it that things that dont interest you suddenly seem exciting when you have serious work to do?
just pressed the REFRESH Button of her life, and Wowww it feels great :D
Be more concerned about your character than about your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think of you.
would like to say on this last day of Winter. Winter, Kiss my Mother F*#$ing A$$ and DON'T HURRY BACK!!!
an aphrodisiac!
in a relationship with Bud Light and her liver is in a relationship with Jager Bomb, which gets complicated when we all hang out together!
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