SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages

   Is it a zit or is it a 3rd nipple growing on my face. This is one of those wait & see moments people.

   Pregnancy tests should read: You're Screwed! or Keep Screwing.

   Apparently I am attracted to women who have big jugs. Of pepper spray.

   We installed a Cain Train around the base of our Christmas tree, but it keeps stopping to hit on the Sugar Plum Fairy ornament.

   I made fun of a pale lady with red hair today and I finally saw a real ginger snap.

   I confess that for years I thought 'Ass-less Chaps' referred to skinny British Guys.

   Michael Imperioli is really pissed off about tequila.

   When your hands are tied, backs against the wall & swept off your feet all at once it clearly means you're a hostage.

   One could make a reasonable argument that the tot is the best part of the tater.

   It's Britney Spears birthday. She's 30. That's about 57 in trailer park years.

   I'd like to put a big red bow on the coffin of the guy who came up with those Lexus ads.

   I say we consolidate all ska bands into one giant ska band, unless that's what happened already.

   I'll stop making excuses when other people start taking responsibility for my actions.

   I don't speak Italian, but Pinot Grigio means "slut fuel," right?

   If bad decisions were flavored, they'd taste like tequila.

   I just made eye contact with a guy in a turtleneck and now I like Coldplay.

   Is there a High Council of Nazi Elders? To whom do we report these bathroom graffiti artists who are drawing their swastikas backwards?

   My grandfather was a wise man, which is probably why every Christmas he only gave me Myrrh.

   Just bought a Ken doll. I don't know what everyone's talking about, you can't read books on this thing.

   Welcome to the SATs - your score today may determine which College Loan you'll be paying well into your 40s. Let's begin.