Prince Shawn Funny Status Messages

   likes to start every first date by saying "If this goes well, we might have a baby in 9 months".

   would probably be classified as a lesbian if it was only based on how much you enjoy eating muffins and cookies.

   a fun afternoon planned. Will be playing "Duck, duck, goose" with actual ducks and geese followed by few games of Chinese Checkers against actual Chinese people.

   Sex on a cruise ship means the ocean does all the work. Ocean sex rules!!! Go to hell land sex!!!

   has never been able to watch Finding Nemo all the way through in one sitting due to it's frequent use of the "N" word.

   assumes "don't try this at home" really means do it at a friend's house or when your parents aren't around.

   too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated.

   jealousy is an ugly color on you... and while I am at it, so are tangerine, teal and turquoise.

   has an easy solution for anyone who hasn't been laid in a long time - conjugal visits.

   if someone tells you it is the inside that counts, that usually means the person they are talking about should stay inside their house.

   a relationship between two person should be like the relationship between the hand and the eye. If the hand gets hurt, the eye cries, and if the eye cries, the hand wipes its tear.

   once you learn how to be happy, you won't tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.

   does things the Chicago way - He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue!

   a girl called me once and said come over, nobody is home! I went there and she was right, nobody was home

   hasn't done laundry in 5 months and isn't wearing any underwear right now, just a big sock. and I do mean a BIG sock.

   nature runs a restaurant called Karma. It's a place where there is no need to place any order. You are automatically served what you deserve.

   not single; is just waiting for his girlfriend to quit playing hide and seek.

   some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

   can't think of anytime to put as a status right now. If you could write my status for me, what would you put?

   had an affair with a teacher once. Made sweet music in the band room, poetry during English class and you don't even want to know what we did in the multipurpose room.