anonymous Funny Status Messages

   was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when he realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.

   asking those who believe in psychokinesis to raise his hand.

   loving and hating facebook -On the downside, it's loaded with sexual predators. On the plus side, it's also loaded with sexual prey.

   tried snorting coke today, but the ice cubes got stuck in his/her nose!

   wishing my mouth had a backspace key.

   The lunatics are running the asylum.

   could use a few drinks.....everyday!!

   making hyperactive mooing noises and bouncing off walls

   won't lower his standards to raise yours

   wondering what humanitarians eat.

   not completelly useless,she can be used as a bad example

   questioning her invisibility potion

   Who decided that a round pizza should be put in a square box?

   Do "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and "The Alphabet Song" have the same tune?

   If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.

   wondering...if jellyfish eat jellybeans..do they get gas?

   Give Yourself a Haircut Tip # 1: Don't

   Asks .... Why dont they make mouse flavoured cat food?

   I pretend to work since they pretend to pay me...

   quit his job in the helium gas factory today!!, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone