Doc Noland Funny Status Messages

   Really Baileys? Non alcoholic coffee creamers? Is that to recover from the O'Doul's hangover?

   I think I ate to much, I dont mean right now. Just in general.

   Pooping twice is on my "two doo" list.

   YouTube or Pornhub wont pull up on my phone this morning. This is my own personal Oregon Trail.

   New Yorkers could probably bail that water out a lot faster if they weren't limited to using 16 oz cups huh Bloomberg? BABOOM! *drops micc

   ┐('.'┐) ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ (┌'.')┌ Cause this is Thriiiiiiilleeeeeeer

   69% of people on FB are childish and immature

   I'll bet it would be excruciating to listen to Foghorn Leghorn sing a cover version of Jackson/McCartney's "Say Say Say."

   Ive waited in line an entire hour to vote, Ended up voting for some guy named Master Chief.

   Rocky Mountain High? John Denver was able to foresee the future! Well, except for the whole running out of gas in an airplane thing.

   I'm not clumsy. It's just that the floor hates me, the tables & chairs are bullies & the wall gets in the way.

   Been trying to write a romantic poem for hours, but so far all I have is "a55 rocket".

   If they were to make a porn on my life, It would be fully clothed people apologizing to each other.

   If you don't get a text or email for 10 minutes you restart your phone because its probably frozen, right?

   Show me on this Elmo doll where the bad man touched you...

   If Elmo is a kid toucher I'd hate to think what goes on down in Oscar's trash can

   Yes, Yes, YES! Not entirely sure what a "propriate" is, but apparently I'm in it...

   I've never gone down on a man, but I'm probably pretty amazing at it from all the times I've stopped soda fizz from overflowing.

   hmmm, I wonder where the girls that ate the poopoo out of the cup are today?

   Another Twilight movie?God I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them.