Funny Status Messages

   says The worst feeling you'll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you knowing that you mean nothing to them ... But it cheers you up when you let off a nice silent one and walk away........

   santaclaustrophobia.

   considering taking out a loan and purchasing a yacht so I can decrease my deficit *Universal Health Care Bill logic*

   thinks a foolish husband gives his wife an old piano. A wise husband gives her an upright organ!

   happy and he knows it...but refuses to clap his hands or stomp his feet.

   An ideal mind is a devil's workshop...mine is a warehouse!

   Tresspassers will be shot. Survivors will be prosecuted.

   found a midget nest today! I am taking the egg home for further study.

   Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

   about to put a broom stick in your turd cutter

   wondering why iceland is green and greenland is ice? Silly Vikings!

   Wants Santa to bring me one of the hot girls thats on his naughty list

   hates Know-It-Alls, because if you really knew it all, you would know I think you a shmuck!

   If I call you a "HO" these final days of 2009, it's only for the holiday purposes... *smirks*

   watching p0rn and eating doritos !

   Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings….'

   Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

   2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a f**k up

   this monkeys wings aren't real!!! That guy screwed me, these aren't flying monkeys at all!!!!

   MISSING: Sultry dark haired nymphomaniac. Likes 2 have hair pulled & be tied up. Please return immediately as she may be dangerous! I am a trained professional