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doc Noland Funny Status Messages
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Page: 23 of 30
Somehow ended up falling asleep reading about plant sexuality last night. Gotta watch out for those polygamodioecious ones. Freaks.
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07-20-2012 05:32 by
Doc Noland
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Cookie dough flavored vodka? Ugh. Stay out of the bar Mary Poppins.
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07-23-2012 06:16 by
Doc Noland
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Erectile dysfunction starts with small talk.
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07-23-2012 06:17 by
Doc Noland
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I know I really like someone when I can listen to them talk about pooping and not get grossed out. Apparently, I don't like this girl.
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07-23-2012 06:19 by
Doc Noland
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Ranch dressing is too a pizza topping! Open your mind-hole and stop hating on deliciousness.
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07-23-2012 06:20 by
Doc Noland
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I don't understand why so many of you are unhappy. They sell vodka where you are, don't they?
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07-24-2012 23:16 by
Doc Noland
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"Yeah. I wanna watch you rub your clot while you duck me. I live that, baby." - I'm done with autocorrect.
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07-24-2012 23:18 by
Doc Noland
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Just pounded 2, 5 hour energy shots... Rap battled a stutterer, Lost... Played M.J. Fox at jenga. Lost... Played patty cake with E. Honda, Win!
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07-26-2012 13:53 by
Doc Noland
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Hey girls, Please stop stabbing each other in the back. You're giving real women a bad name.
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07-29-2012 19:24 by
Doc Noland
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When does the Brazilian Pole Dancing Team come on?
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07-29-2012 21:27 by
Doc Noland
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I bet one of these powerful Olympic women could sit on my face & suck out my fillings with one Kegel....Unnhmmm Hope Solo.
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07-31-2012 21:44 by
Doc Noland
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A famous rapper got high and did something stupid? Well now I've seen everything.
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07-31-2012 22:43 by
Doc Noland
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The only thing worse than trying to lose at badminton is trying at badminton.
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08-01-2012 21:00 by
Doc Noland
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There is over a billion people in China and there is also only two haricuts
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08-02-2012 11:48 by
Doc Noland
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So what your saying Chick-Fil-A, you will not be sponsoring Men's Olympic Racewalking.
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08-04-2012 12:07 by
Doc Noland
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Unicorns eventually got into rough @n@l-play. And that's why they're extinct.
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08-07-2012 20:04 by
Doc Noland
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I jump out of bushes to give surprise breast exams. I save lives. The police are on the lookout for me. Probably to give me an award.
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08-07-2012 20:13 by
Doc Noland
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I have walrus-like reflexes! Basically I roll around my apartment and slap my belly when I want food
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08-09-2012 07:37 by
Doc Noland
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Let's observe a moment of silence for all the black women who don't have a Q or an apostrophe in their first name.
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08-09-2012 07:38 by
Doc Noland
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I could never find it in my heart to kill another person, but I've entertained the thought of dancing on a grave or two.
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08-09-2012 07:40 by
Doc Noland
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