anonymous Funny Status Messages

   shot a man in Reno just to watch him die

   knows he was unwanted as a child when he found his bath toys were a radio and a toaster!

   in trouble for moving all the bibles to the fiction section at Barnes 'N Noble

   two wrongs don't make a right... but two Wrights make an airplane!

   wants to say to the nice stranger he saw while driving around, "Next time you wave at me, use all of your fingers."

   wants to Google her Myspace while she Twitters my Yahoo.

   Ravage the Wenches, Plunder The Booty

   things to do 2day- 1: get up 2: survive 3: go back to bed

   ti esrever dna ʇı puɐ ʇı dılɟ uɐɔ

   and Richard Simmons are now friends

   informing you that 95% of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this EVERYWHERE if you are in the 5% that would shout Jump!!

   sittin at a bar on the inside, waitin for his ride on the outside

   the other white meat.

   looking out the window and thinking what a lovely looking mushroom cloud

   Blessings are not counted in gold or dividends,

   now listed as single but in a relationship,its complicated.

   Change is inevitable... Unless your a vending machine

   walked into a shop this morning when the woman working said "if you need anything, I'm Jill". I haven't met anyone with a conditional identity before.

   tired of following his dreams, he/she is just gonna ask where they are going and hook up with them later

   laughing at the homeless and punching the elderly!