john Funny Status Messages

   4/20 is the day that some of you celebrate smokin dope. 4/21 is the day your employer (If you have one) celebrates random drug testing!

   I pretend to work.They pretend to pay me.

   Your delusional,she wouldn't do you if your semen cured cancer!!!

   When buying a new flat screen T.V, always remember to put the box in the neighbor's trash can so you don't get robbed.

   If you put your kid's GPA in your Christmas card's the grandparents might be proud of them but everyone else is gonna think YOU'RE a di<k!

   .Merry Christmas to most,and to a select few of you may santa flush his $hitter over your chimney!

   A sure sign that drugs fu<k you up is that Russel Brand just filed for divorce from Katy Perry...WHAT,an idiot!

   From now on I will only use blue SOLO cups,because of that STUPID STUPID song.

   Christmas tree sales are way down from last month...Come on people,christmas tree salesman gotta eat too!

   wondering what you would do for a klondike bar?

   the best way to end up divorced...get married.

   What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It's a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!

   Its almost that time kids...Does everyone have their plungers ready?

   We Want Top Gear Back Now