Prince Shawn Funny Status Messages

   can't help but wonder just how different the world would be if people's pants actually caught on fire when they lied. 0 up, 0 down

   tries to accept the things he can't change and change the things he can't accept.

   If you are going to cheat, make sure she isn't wearing glitter.

   frequently has conversations with women who know how hot they are, but apparently very little else.

   Stop looking for things and people who you think will make your life perfect, and start looking for the things and people that make your life WORTH IT!

   success is not the key to happiness; happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

   Life has no remote. You have to get up and change it yourself.

   When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say..

   I once asked an old man: Which is more important to love or to be loved? He replied: which is more important to a bird, the left wing or the right wing?

   Sex, Food, Sleep, & Poops. General male happiness depends on how good these 4 things are at any given time.

   A picture is like a thousand words so if your profile photo is bad, it's like reading the word ugly a thousand times.

   wishes exercising was just as easy to do as eating is.

   jealous of his parents because he will never have a kid as awesome as theirs.

   likes to pretend he is in a parade when he is stuck in traffic.

   a great way to get over someone: plan ahead. Make a list of their faults so if you breakup you can console yourself with their many weaknesses.

   there is nothing worse than a woman coming up with a nickname for your junk, getting confused and calling it Dad.

   wonders what guys did before baseball was created to tell how far they had gone with a girl.

   Two things some people can't live without, God and the internet, are everywhere and all-knowing. But only one of them gives you naked woman anytime you want.

   didn't take sex ed growing up and had to figure things out on his own ...with a can of Crisco and a shot glass. That's the natural way!

   Being good at spelling is like knowing how to draw a really cool dragon. Unless you are a tattoo artist, no one cares. Skin doesn't auto correct!