MikeM Funny Status Messages

   I picked up a bad habit of reading text messages, and then verbally responding to them, and then putting my phone away.

   Alarm, snooze, check Facebook...

   Thank goodness Jon Bon Jovi is alive after all, Nickleback would be nothing without him.

   I love "words with friends" so much I wish they would make it a board game.

   When I say, "That's interesting", don't assume it is, or that you are right or that I even I agree with you; most likely it means I am not really listening...

   My first cup of coffee is enjoyed with silence, thank you for understanding.

   Teaching my kids some nursery rhymes for the first time... Damn you Andrew Dice Clay!

   After the VMAs people everywhere are saying that Miley Cyrus is the most talentless, disappointing girl in the music industry... I'm sorry, but please don't take that title away from Justin Bieber..

   "One, two, Freddy's comin' for you... Three, four, you'd better lock your door..." oh wait, wrong holiday!

   Due to a government shutdown, no one is "Engineering the electricals."

   You will unlikely ever be the oldest person on the planet, but for a brief moment you held the record for the youngest.