Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   20 Years ago today, me and my wife got married.. And yes you can get less for murder

   I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you are good with grammar you will get it.

   Sometimes I don't understand women, they can walk around all day in public wearing a bikini but when they catch me looking at them in their bra and underwear, they scream the place down!

   Dating a single mother is like continuing on from somebody else's saved game.

   Tell her she's beautiful instead of hot. She's a woman, not a temperature

   I like the fact that you can see someone's location on their Facebook profile. Because It makes it easier for me to avoid them.

   Blood makes you related but loyalty makes you family

   Tampons are in the right place, at the wrong time.

   Respect for women, starts with your mother

   A liar takes forever to explain a simple answer...

   How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on

   I can't believe how strong the winds were last night. I nipped out to get my wife some tampons and got blown into a bar?!

   Keep your head high and your middle finger higher!

   I hope the woman of my dreams delivers pizza, otherwise I'm never gonna meet her

   I'm playing the Titanic drinking game. Every time you see someone dead you have a shot of vodka!

   Love is such a strong word But then again, so is C*NT

   I like kids, only because they remind me to buy more condoms.

   I hate it when women dress up on Halloween. It just reminds me of the times I wake up next to one of them after a good night out

   You know you were drunk last night when you cooked pizza for 200 minutes at 18 degrees

   The words "Haters" and "Swag" are overused by the people who have neither