Brades Funny Status Messages

   wishes I had a stunt double to get me through the rest of this day.

   would like to thank Facebook for reacquainting me not just with old friends but also with people I never liked much in the past and for reminding me why in the present.

   "Women are made to be loved, not understood." - Oscar Wilde

   doesn't want you to call me lazy until you've walked a couple of steps in my flip-flops.

   thinks BEER is the answer. I have no idea what the hell the question was.

   only updating my status because my legions of fans expect me to.

   thinks if your dog is wearing clothes, you're probably an a-hole.

   wishes I were more outdoorsy. Unfortunately, there are bugs outside.

   It's not warm in the car; you're rolling down the window because you farted.

   getting ready to enter the "drinking" portion of the evening.

   thinks that it's people that give drinking a bad name.

   Seems like most rioting in the world happens in the countries with the least bacon.

   The way dogs get excited when you throw a tennis ball is the way I feel about my first beer after work.