Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   The other day Pope Benedict named five new saints to the Catholic Church. Some, however, are questioning whether Obama deserved it.

   typIng 1IkE thI5 w0U1d drIvE mE f*ckIng crAzy!

   wondering just how exactly do you meet the girls from the single-ladies commercials?! theyre hot!

   don't let the mornings get you down, sleep till noon!

   on my way to Oz on the yellow brick road but overshot it by 150 miles- I was having an argument with myself, I was not asleep, got here OK, hanging with Glenda.

   you know you're small when your application to be a porn star in China gets rejected

   doesn't believe we put a man on the moon.

   When it comes to getting things done, we need fewer architects and more bricklayers

   if facebook was an actual book we could call ourselves intellectuals...

   If there is anything worse than seeing a beautiful woman with a dog picking up dog s*%t ,Its seeing a beautiful woman without a dog picking up dog s%|t

   The only problem I have with Halloween is making those stupid skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!

   gearing up for hot tub season!

   giving my liver a pat on the back for holding up this weekend

   Knows you're getting old when you watch a porno and think "Oh that bed looks comfortable.".

   laughs at people who put vague facebook statuses that are written to get comments. something like: “Yeah, alright!” – it's like they are writing “please ask me why I am happy”

   would like to inform facebook that it FAILS at "Change". 0bama could use the same advice too.

   Midgets smell different things in crowded elevators.

   You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

   Every eight minutes, someone has sex with an animal...and you wonder why they attack you.

   Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a d*ck.