g0re Funny Status Messages

   Lazy rule number 42: If it isn't on the first page of Google, it doesn't exist.

   Dreams are just fanfictions of your life written by your brain.

   Some people look at a mousetrap and just see a trap for a mouse. Some of us look and see free cheese and a challenge.

   Teens: being tired is one of your personality traits.

   Gentlemen, for the next 2-3 weeks the best pick up line at any bar is, "What's Call of Duty?" You can thank me at the bachelor party.

   There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator

   Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?

   When you think about it, Hitler really wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler.

   Nobody likes the guy who stands in the corner of the elevator, hoarding the buttons. Then he asks; what floor? And he smiles, like he's doing you a favor. I WANNA HIT THE BUTTON.

   When people say they "live their life" it usually just means "party hard." It doesn't mean "learn a lot about stuff that interests you", "volunteer to help people less fortunate than you", or "enjoy the benefits of a good night of sleep."

   Life's not a b!tch, life's a beautiful woman. You just call her a b!tch cause she wont let you get what you want,

   It takes a brave man to admit he's wrong. It takes a braver man to not delete the original comment.

   It sucks to live in the shadow of your older brother or sister. Imagine if Jesus Christ had a little brother or sister. How do you live up to THAT?

   It's one of life's cruel tricks that by the time you're old enough to afford a flashy sports car, you look ridiculous driving it.

   Women hate being treated different than men, until there's a hostage situation and woman and children are let go first.

   Just because you attract a lot of nasty skanks does not mean you're a stud. It means that your own kind recognizes you.

   Whoever came up with the term "one tough cookie" had no idea about the structural integrity of baked goods.

   People complain too much on airplanes. like "For real? I cant get hi speed internet?! AND MY CHAIR DOESNT LEAN BACK!" .... "Dude, you are sitting in a chair... IN THE GOD DAMN SKY!"

   If only the Indians had given the Pilgrims donkey on Thanksgiving. We'd all be getting some ass today.

   They should really make stomach medicines taste better, cause the last thing I want to swallow when I'm sick is something chalky and ass flavored.