g0re Funny Status Messages

   Erasers can be your best friend and be like "Oh hey, you need this erased? No problem, I got you." While other times, they can be like"OH HEY I THINK YOUR PAPER NEEDS A SMUDGE RIGHT HERE, LET ME TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU".

   The best way to end an argument is to let your opponent scream out a statement and reply by throwing up your hands and saying, "That's exactly what I've been trying to tell you!" and then walking away.

   Blood is thicker then water, but maple syrup is thicker then blood. Therefore pancakes are more important than family

   Nothing says you almost got caught watching porn like staring at an empty Google search bar..

   Only people with video cameras and shaky hands can see UFOs.

   Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction.

   The best kind of laughter, is laughing so hard it's silent.

   Only people with sh!tty video cameras and shaky hands can see UFOs.

   Where my knickers at? Oh wait, they're just chillin' with my britches

   It's really annoying when people tell you to be yourself, just as you're about to turn into a lamp.

   Who needs dementors to suck out your soul when Mondays exist.

   (on facebook) Friend 1: ugh, I feel so crap I hate my life. Friend 2: aww babe whats wrong??. Friend 1: inbox? Friend 2: yeah okay. Rest of us: well f*ck you then.

   Before looking for intelligent life on planets found in other solar systems, maybe we should look for it on our own planet..

   If Apple created the iHouse, it wouldn't have any Window.

   It's funny to hear someone talk normally and then all of a sudden throw in a huge word. EX: "Yo, dude I was walking down the street with my bro and suddenly this hot girl walks by and I was like, 'Damn, that ass is quite prepossessing.'".

   My dad never loved me as a child, you can't really blame him though I wasn't born until he was an adult.

   In the end, girls really just want one thing from guys, all of our hoodies.

   Girls: If a guy wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs, send him to KFC. You're a lady, not a cheap value meal.

   It is important to be thankful for little things in life. Like the fact that the world doesn't make a strange creaking noise when it rotates on its axis.

   A smart person realizes how stupid everyone else is and gets depressed. A very smart person realizes how stupid everyone else is and gets rich.