Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   its kind of fun to do the impossible

   - in the year 2010 the AUS government will be shipping all retards away. My eyes watered when I thought of losing you. Be strong. Take your crayons.

   wondering what the Easter bunny is doing right now?

   says don't ring the RSPCA if your boyfriend says he wants to kick your puppy... he's just using predictive text

   : How do you keep a facebook friend busy? Refresh this screen to find the answer.

   this day sucks worse than time I got lost in Oakland California

   I may not be always right but I'm never wrong

   it´s only funny until someone gets hurt... then it becomes hilarious

   celebrating Columbus Day by giving smallpox infested blankets to all the children who come to our door

   I read a report that said the typical symptoms of stress were eating too much, drinking too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Who are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day.

   Life is 10% of what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it!

   Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

   Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

   wouldn't be caught dead around a necrophiliac!

   thinking that women give us the silent treatment and us blokes let them think we don't like it.............

   wonders if people understand how big of an idiot they sound like when they say they'll give something 110% etc. Its impossible to give more than 100%. That's it. 100% is to a whole what infinity is to forever. That's all you get.

   has watched so much kids TV lately that women that look like Dora are starting to turn his head. Swiper! No swiping!

   knows the difference between a straight girl and a lesbian. About a bottle and a half of wine.

   To make it straight, she pulls it. 2 make it stand, she rubs it. 2 make it stiff, she licks it. 2 let it “IN” she pushes it. !!!! True! Threading a needle is not easy!!!

   The grass may look greener on the other side,however it stil needs to be cut