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Atheism is a non-prophet organization 
“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”
more bored than a prostitute in post-guliani New York.
To steal ideas from one person would be called plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is called "research".
dated a retarded girl once... we broke up because we argued about everything... I said "tomato" and she said "BOWLING SHOES!!!"
just not the same since the house fell on my sister
Deleting my browser history almost makes me feel like I never cyberstalked you in the first place
repairing a huge hole in my living room wall, Damn You, Kool-Aid man...
just realized while reading the newspaper, that in cartoons the person on the right is never allowed to speak first...
Teaching his dog how to be a ninja!
TIVOing The Weather Channel
its national hug a retard day!...now dont freak out like you did last year...im not trying to steal your helmet!!!
consulting the "magic 8-ball" for al decisions today!
more frustrated than a crackhead with no lighter!
happier than a tornado in a trailer park!
n't surprised that our economy has troubles when we deal with something called Hog Futures. Hogs have no future. Bacon is not a career.
so manly not even his sentences have periods
If Kanye can steal the mic...can Taylor really be called Swift?
Good News: Ted Kennedy is 3 weeks sober!
freedom of speech is a figure of speech
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