g0re Funny Status Messages

   Candy companies need to learn that making a candy bar and eighth of its original size does not make it "fun sized," it just makes more wrappers to throw away.

   Be a lady's man, not a ladies man.

   There's a new unit of measure which measures 72 days - a Kardash.

   The show "19 Kids and Counting" could easily be renamed "People Hoarders".

   Sometimes you sit in class and listen to the conversations around you and realize you are the smartest person in the room.

   The next time the hostess asks you respond "No, not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."

   Girls spend too much time trying to look nice and not enough time trying to act nice.

   Sometimes its better to forget about making people happy and just do what YOU really want to do.

   The next time the hostess asks you "Would you like a table?", you should respond "No, not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."

   It's silly when people say that you shouldn't like them "because they might hurt you." Everyone is going to hurt you. Some people are just worth the risk.

   It makes you worried for the future when you see all the insecure girls on Facebook posting their pictures as their statu$ and begging for likes.

   Pac-Man teaches us a valuable lesson Eat everything you can, and if anyone tries to stop you, eat them.

   I hate it when you're trying to watch proactive commercials but MTV shows keep interrupting.

   Come on proactiv, don't lie, its not a limited time offer, you've ALWAYS been $19.99.

   It would be amazing if all restaurants had to end their URLs with ".nom"

   Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at this b!tch, eating those crackers like she owns the place!"

   Sluts are like Gary; they only like you for the cookie in your pants.

   It's kind of disappointing when you're reading someone's bio on any site and are somewhat interested, but then you reach the end and it says you don't like me, then PISS OFF!!!" Well, that was rude

   Life is just a long, sick game of "Would you rather."

   If you think about it, most of your friendships stay in the "humor zone", where silences are awkward and must be resolved with laughs. Deep friendships allow you to be yourself instead of just a comedian.