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doc noland Funny Status Messages
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Page: 13 of 30
The only time I get name-dropped is in games of "Would You Rather".
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12-06-2011 20:32 by
Doc Noland
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Why should I waste 5.99 on a bottle of stool softener when I can just do it by hand?
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12-07-2011 18:19 by
Doc Noland
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Serendipity - When an empty glass and a bottle of booze cross paths
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12-08-2011 16:32 by
Doc Noland
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i get called "insane" at least four times a day by both real and imaginary people.
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12-09-2011 01:27 by
Doc Noland
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If having the moves like Jagger entails prancing around like an electrocuted chicken then no, I do not have the moves like Jagger
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12-10-2011 15:17 by
Doc Noland
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It's weird that our sex parts are also our poopoo peepee parts.
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12-12-2011 16:47 by
Doc Noland
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V@gina jokes are not funny at all. Period.
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12-16-2011 14:20 by
Doc Noland
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If you don't JUMP OUT OF YOUR SEAT at "Streaks on the China..." from the Mr. Belvedere theme song, then get the Heck out of America.
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12-25-2011 10:19 by
Doc Noland
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I think most of Adele's songs are about a cheeseburger.
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12-26-2011 23:42 by
Doc Noland
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It's amazing how quickly a MILF becomes a MILL (Mom I'd Like to Leave)
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12-26-2011 23:43 by
Doc Noland
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I need a new refrigerator. There's no food in mine.
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12-27-2011 00:15 by
Doc Noland
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Dryer lint sure does smell a lot better than it tastes.
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12-27-2011 13:06 by
Doc Noland
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Im alittle experimental tonight and I tell ya, I tried on a Trojan Magnum...its really hard to breathe in those things.
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12-28-2011 01:35 by
Doc Noland
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Finally changed my mood on MySpace to "ninja" but nobody saw me do it.
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12-28-2011 16:53 by
Doc Noland
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My status would be a lot funnier if you could see my back-up dancers.
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12-28-2011 18:28 by
Doc Noland
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My skull organ no work so good this day.
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12-30-2011 17:21 by
Doc Noland
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Luckily for me, my future cancer will go along quite nicely with my current personality.
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12-30-2011 17:28 by
Doc Noland
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Winter trees at sunset have the look of a lonely old man realizing there will be no visitors today.
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12-30-2011 17:29 by
Doc Noland
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Feeling self conscious? Just watch me "walk" on stairs! My bad knees makes newborn giraffes look like ballerinas.
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12-30-2011 20:45 by
doc Noland
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Everytime I've had to buy a pregnancy test for a woman and it comes up negative Joe Cocker's Feeling Alright plays loudly in my head.
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12-30-2011 21:30 by
Doc Noland
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