Funny Status Messages

   it's Monday and the time to procrastinate is NOW!

   re-naming his remote "G-Spot". Why you ask? 'Cause he can never find it.

   I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and... n

   loves cats but he can't eat a whole one.

   Never buy anything from a man who is out of breath...

   wonders Why is it ok for a Gay man to change in a Men's Locker Room but, it's Not ok for a Straight man to change in a Women's Locker Room?

   trying to jump over his feets

   a psychic midget who escaped from prison... which makes him a Small Medium at Large

   will stop procrastinating next week

   After Mondays & Tuesdays, even the week says W,T,F...!!

   wonders what would happen if someone fell down the stairs while leaving an injury lawyers office..

   asked 5 girls out on a date and 6 rejected him (the 6th one was passing by and told him "Don't even think about asking me out")! *sigh*

   If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.

   I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

   I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

   Tell me now before I blow twenty bucks on drinks.

   Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!

   After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?

   wonders if you know how to tell a real cowboy from a fake one in the kitchen? The real cowboy would be on the range.

   First day of Pre-School & I was chasing fat kids with a salad