Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   thinks Laziness is the mother of all vice...but its a mother & you should respect her!!!

   reading a book on the history of glue. and can't put it down

   having pink taco's for dinner

   Explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.14159265 dead.

   I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.

   trying really hard not to make eye contact with the monstrosity of a woman I had a drunken hookup with. . .

   I am slayer of dragons, sudcer of women and eater of gold fish crakers!

   Duck,Duck,Duck,Duck... goose! Pinecone! I win!

   so great that he does'nt get murdered, he gets assassinated.

   Do me for tena

   working for the weekend

   just not that into you, Monday

   forget peace give squirels a chance

   I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

   she is too tired to be clever for her status.

   just gotten an email stating that I had won the Nigerian lottery! I just left the post office to send off my 1500 dollar processing fee and I'll be on a beach in the Bahama's in no time, SUCKAS!

   reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

   throwing away his rollover minutes because they're a month old.

   dreamd last night that he is perfect. Than he woke up and realized that s reality

   Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway