Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   The Lord says he doesn't give you anymore than you can handle... I think he has me confused with somebody else...

   And on Friday God created alcohol, and Adam was happy! It had been a long first week with Eve

   ordering you catalogs...and thinking you may need a bigger mailbox!!!

   Thinks Women are like scratch-off tickets… There fun to do, ….. Most of the time they turn out to be losers, …. If your lucky you'll get a winner, ……. And in the end you spend more than you get!

   wants to procrastinate... well, not today... perhaps tomorrow!

   just because your mother is a single parent, doesn't mean you have to follow in her footsteps at such an early age.

   it might be helpful and less stressful to have a baby AFTER you finish college. Not before.

   going to see if the best part of waking up is really Folgers in your cup. I'll let you know the results

   If you cross a bulldog and a $hitzu do you get a bull$hit????

   put the wrong socks on the wrong feet this morning.

   Everything am not, made me everthing I am

   The neighbor's kids are named Titus and Judah. Either the couple is Greek, or they smoke ALOT of dope.

   considering a career at Hogwarts

   put on my shoes and I'm ready for the weekend

   Thanks for letting us know how "bored" and "lonely" you are....Next time let us know if we even care.

   gotta feeling tonight's gonna be a good night.

   saying what starts off sweet ends bitter... and what starts off bitter ends sweet.

   going to take over the world one day >=D, as soon as she finishes her homework "awww," *head goes down, walks away from computer*

   anyone who says it's as easy as taking candy from a baby, has never tried taking candy from a baby!

   making the BEST Guacamole dip ever tonight, so tomorrow he will get to "rock out with his Guac out"