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SEAN Funny Status Messages
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Page: 12 of 14
How do you know you're allergic to cats if you've never even tasted one?
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03-13-2012 10:45 by
SEAN
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Fat people just want to get into your pantries.
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03-13-2012 10:48 by
SEAN
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Please touch this. ~MC Hammer, 2012
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03-13-2012 10:52 by
SEAN
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A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes
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03-13-2012 11:31 by
SEAN
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I can honestly say that I have never fake laughed as hard as any member of the America's Funniest Home Videos audience.
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03-19-2012 17:38 by
SEAN
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I think it would be cool to actually see a great white shark before I die, just not RIGHT before.
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03-19-2012 17:40 by
SEAN
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Mom: clean up ur room! We're having guests over for dinner Me: sorry, I didn't realize we were having dinner in my room.
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03-19-2012 17:41 by
SEAN
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How in the world did Bill & Hillary Clinton avoid the celebrity nickname HillBilly? WE DROPPED THE BALL AMERICA.
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03-19-2012 17:44 by
SEAN
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The only time to use the self check out lane at the store, is when you're buying tampons, or Wesley Snipes DVDs.
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03-27-2012 08:30 by
SEAN
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Had a mini anxiety attack wondering what the employees at the Weather Channel make small talk about.
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03-27-2012 08:31 by
SEAN
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My wife doesn't believe in labels, which is probably why she drank all that bleach.
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03-27-2012 08:31 by
SEAN
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When I'm old & my friends start dying off, I'll probably go the funerals, stand over the caskets, & whisper "I won."
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03-27-2012 08:32 by
SEAN
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Just for fun, I like to take my 5yo to the Walmart pet aisle, and watch people's reactions when I make her try on dog collars..
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03-27-2012 08:34 by
SEAN
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I got fired from my job at Walmart, because every time a woman bought batteries, I winked and told them "I know what these are for!" Whatever.
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03-27-2012 08:34 by
SEAN
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Just came from the doctor. Got high score on the blood pressure machine. Doctor wouldn't high five me. Jerk.
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03-29-2012 11:18 by
SEAN
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Don't assume I have a bad memory if I don't remember what you tell me. More than likely its becasue I don't like you enough to pay attention.
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03-29-2012 11:19 by
SEAN
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My wife just accused me of being big-headed and thinking I was better than I was. I nearly fell off my throne.
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03-29-2012 11:19 by
SEAN
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If you're going to carry on a cellphone conversation in the men's room you can count on me to make HORRIBLE noises and flush every two seconds.
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03-29-2012 11:20 by
SEAN
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There's a new #Aerosmith album coming out, so call your grandma she'll be excited.
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03-29-2012 11:22 by
SEAN
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Went horseback riding today..Wind blowing my hair, it was a pretty good ride!! Until I ran out of quarters n the Walmart greeter kicked me out
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03-31-2012 10:13 by
SEAN
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