g0re Funny Status Messages

   It's kind of fun to hang out with a younger person who thinks you're a lot cooler than you actually are.

   Cell phones ruined the era of throwing people into pools.

   Self checkout was invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.

   Breaking a mirror is 7 years of bad luck? Well breaking a condom is 18.

   One hour long text conversation = 5 minute face to face conversation.

   What does frozen beer, burnt pizza and a pregnant girl all have in common? A dumba$$ who forgot to take it out in time.

   Childbirth is nothing compared to walking through tall grass with sh!tty a$$ Pokémon.

   I'm not shy. I'm just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouh to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment$ directed at you will immediately spew from within me.

   If Batman and Catwoman had a kid, it would become either a Batcat, or the less popular Manwoman.

   I dont hate you. I just hope your next period happens in a shark tank.

   "Bromance" should be a relationship status on facebook.

   Awesome idea: On Halloween, order a pizza to get delivered to your house When the delivery guy gets there, pretend you think he's a trick or treater and comment on how he looks like a real delivery person. Give him candy.

   It's annoying when girls take pictures in glasses and they're like "I'm a nerd". Like shut up you're not a nerd you're just a slut with glasses on.

   People ask me if I live my life on the edge. Well, let's just say I'm the kind of guy who eats apples without washing them first.

   Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.

   It sucks when you pass by an incredibly good looking person, but then you realize it was just a mirror.

   If you hold your shoe up to your ear in public, you can hear the sound of people laughing at you for looking like a dumb-a$$.

   It's the strangest feeling when you come out of the cinema when a film ends, because you were so sucked into the film that you forget all about real life.

   It's hard to understand why eating a banana would be considered even remotely sexual. Sure, it can represent a phallic object, but if a girl devouring your pen!s turns you on then you have some serious problems.

   it me, or does "Bananas in Pyjamas" just sound like a safe sex campaign.