Funny Status Messages

   was thrown out of a casino for misunderstanding the use of a crap table.

   thinks that it would be wise for you to stop touching the "S" button.

   Seein' right through you like you're bathing in Windex

   was thinking about a romantic night, A stale bottle of chocolate body paint, and a kinky french poodle, Partytime! But unfortunately I am stuck here at work...

   hey you yesss you... you look better with my cum on your face ;)

   naked in the shower

   says two fools make a moron, two morons make an imbecile, two imbeciles make an idiot and two idiots make a marriage.

   decided when he eventually becomes a dad that he's going to name his first child Ladyboy Bumcrack Von Failface.

   tell a grown up if someone touches you the wrong way. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle...(sings) G.I. Joe!

   spending to much time thinking about what this status should be

   knows you are reading his/her facebook status right now...

   How to lose weight....eat stuff you hate !!

   I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

   I'm on a drinking team with a drinking problem.

   Ex-wife For Sale...Just take over payment.

   I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get divorced I keep the house.

   Wondering what's on facebook's mind

   busy playing fetch with his Chia Pet.

   eating pizza but not the italian kind.. the taco bell kind.

   $20 in my bank acct. Drinks on you homie.