SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages

   These ‘energy saving' light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.

   I was planning to take a flu shot until I found out it isn't a kind of drink

   Any woman can have the body of a 21 year old… as long as she buys him a few drinks first.

   Internet connection failed!: □ Wait patiently. ✔ Rape the refresh button.

   Who else puts LOL or LMAO or ROFL knowing good and damn well your sitting there with a straight face.

   I have finally just accepted all my invitations to connect on LinkedIn. Now I wait. With my pants off.

   When I say I will NEVER do something, rest assured I'll be doing it within 6 weeks.

   Facebook should change the status question from “What's on your mind?” to “What's your problem today?”

   Here's a little bit of advice for you.. advi

   My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.

   The Lord works in mysterious ways… Just like those road maintenance guys.

   Today, I found out that ‘Made in China' stickers are made in Korea. Mind = BLOWN!

   May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.

   I just called bullsh!t but it went straight to voicemail.

   I think that the term "wife beater" wins the award for most Widely accepted unacceptable phrase.

   "Strike while the iron is hot" is pretty violent advice, but I guess if I'm hitting someone with an iron it might as well be hot.

   If Morgan Freeman was smart then he would record himself giving his eulogy.

   They say you never forget your first love and it's true, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about beer.

   The best thing about the internet: It's available to everyone. The worst thing about the internet: - It's available to everyone.

   The later I get, the drunker it is.