Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon 87% of gym members don’t even know their gym is closed
←Rate | 04-05-2020 07:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If Hugh Hefner ran a company wearing pajamas so can you.
←Rate | 04-03-2020 07:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I stopped wearing a mask and started carrying a chain saw everywhere . Social distancing isn't an issue for me :P
←Rate | 04-07-2020 20:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a kid, my parents could only afford a secondhand calculator which was missing the 'X' button. Times were hard.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 06:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon hey B. sanders below, you quit, so please go
←Rate | 04-08-2020 12:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon it me or do the birds and critters seem so much louder now - like their taunting us?
←Rate | 04-08-2020 06:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm sorry I removed you from my friends-list. But it's my new policy in dealing with folks who annoy the f*****g s**t out of me.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 09:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're not gaining weight during the pandemic you ain't high enough
←Rate | 04-08-2020 10:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you’re ever wondering if you and your spouse are on the same page fold a large blanket together. You’ll have your answer quickly.
←Rate | 04-07-2020 19:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can literally be in Autozone and your kid will still want something. WTF you want a alternator?
←Rate | 04-08-2020 06:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver
←Rate | 04-08-2020 06:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I get out of quarantine I am starting a line of lawn mowers called mowjo.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 06:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon And suddenly people don't wonder any more if your living life to the fullest or have completely given up when you walk into the supermarket wearing pajamas.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 10:10 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon So many things changing daily. For example, now DTF stands for Don’t Touch my Face.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 06:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Naked and Afraid. But it’s just me using the shower after my husband.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 06:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If a Tutu was designed for an extra-large ballerina, would it be called a Threethree?
←Rate | 04-08-2020 06:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon No matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature
←Rate | 04-08-2020 06:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anybody else up to 6 meals a day
←Rate | 04-08-2020 15:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When this is over.. What meeting will you need to attend first.. Weight watchers or AA ?
←Rate | 04-03-2020 10:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The reporter on CNN said that at the end of the day, the thing that will keep you safe is common sense. Some of you are in serious trouble.
←Rate | 04-01-2020 08:04 by Gripenfelter Comments (1)  

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