udit Funny Status Messages

   Pfizer Claims Its Covid Vaccine Effective Against Nuclear Reaction Too.

   My doctor said he's been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?

   My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs... I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber.

   If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

   Happy anniversary to the love of my life, and her husband Steve.

   Your SMS inbox is your shopping updates app now. Card transaction information Order confirmation Package tracking Delivery Information

   Amongst all the beautiful women in this world.. There's always an idiot ex-boyfriend, who still expects her love again.

   That moment when you see your EX with that person they told you not to worry about during your relationship...

   Don't be upset that you're single; be happy that someone isn't ruining your life.

   What is love? I don't even want an answer. I'm just ecstatic knowing that at least 90% of you thought "Baby, don't hurt me."

   How come people who think they know everything never seem to know when to shut up?

   Love is very strong.. It can remove tears, fears & even underwears.

   You lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who doesn’t care about losing you.

   As soon as you get in a relationship, everyone wanna send you that 'I miss you' text.

   Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam's ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.

   Life isn't a fairy tale. It's a fill-in-the-blank choose your own adventure scratch & sniff colouring book with missing pages and random highlighted passages that make no sense to anyone but the author.

   The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

   If you're ever feeling down on your appearance, remember: even the ugliest potato can become a beautiful French fry

   Facebook got 2 billion to burn even though the site is 90% candy crush requests & fake news that tricked your grandma.

   If they feel the need to point out your flaws, THEY might be your biggest one.