mickeybruce Funny Status Messages

   I'm so hungry I could eat a Sarah Jessica Parker

   the first rule of Sam's Club is that you will not admit that you were stupid enough to go there on Black Friday

   did Superfly's family have "jive turkey" yesterday?

   you can post the Ten Commandments in the courthouse, if you let us post the statutes regarding child molestation in your church

   Deja Fu: I've been kicked in the head like this before...

   going thru the airport scan today with a complete spiderman suit under my street clothes

   Mr. Peanut's last words: Bye, dear. Back in a Jif.

   does anybody actually say "booyah" anymore? I think those letters should be separated and granted restraining orders against each other

   I'm a little bit hungry. I could eat a pony

   so I guess it's officially ok now, when you use a condom, to refer to it as "the pope hat"

   ...nice mouth on that Palin kid: I know somebody who needs to buy a new keyboard 'cuz the S, T, F, and you are completely worn out!!

   heard on the news that Justin Bieber won like 2 million awards last night but he's only sold 4 CDs. wtf?

   not many people know that Albert Einstein had a brother that an evil scientist used to experiment on. His name was FrankEinstein

   Michele Bachmann pulls so many bogus statistics out of her ass that she has to spend $200 million a day on Preparation H

   San Francisco bans toys in Happy Meals.... Mayor McCheese vows to "Take it to the Supreme Court, if necessary"

   wonders if there's an alternative to mistletoe. one that allows punching.

   has to go pee. and soon, or it's gonna be a BP

   supports the whole Movember concept but thinks it should be changed to Manuary

   someday I'll sit down with my grandchildren to watch "Airplane" and they'll say, "I can't believe they used to just let people get on planes"

   sometimes I wish I had more asses to tell people to kiss!