Starman Funny Status Messages

   Men try role reversal in bed, and you have a headache for once.

   Don't kid your self would be a good name for a comdom.

   What do you call a man who has everything?...... A bachelor.

   The two things a wife can do to make her husband happy are, pack her bags and leave.

   What do you do if you are an atheist and your stuck behind a car that has a "HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS" bumber sticker?

   HELP, I'm out of booze, and sobering up.

   Today is national wear your pajamas to work day. Didn't that start when the stay at home orders went into effect?

   Everyone knows that Santa lives at the North Pole, but does anyone know where the Easter Bunny lives?

   For sale slightly used daily planner.

   Parents, here's a way to keep your kids busy for awhile on Easter, let them have an Easter egg hunt, just don't hide any eggs.

   Wonder why kids set out milk and cookies for Santa, but not a salad for the Easter Bunny.

   it wrong to put leftover Halloween candy in their Easter basket?

   You'll know you've grown old when your 6 pack abs turn into a keg.

   Had one of those DNA test done. Turns out I'm related to Adam and Eve.

   YAY! Mr. Peanut back.

   You know you're fat when your dog lays down in your shaddow on hot sunny days.

   When I'm not at home and my wife is giving me the silent treatment, she'll send me blank tex messages.

   Why do wives think giving their husband the silent treatment is a punishment.

   Dilemma: Watching your mother inlaw driving towards a cliff in your brand new car.

   Marriage is the main cause of divorce.