Rick Funny Status Messages

   Already messed up 2024. Maybe 2025 will be my year.

   I have come to the conclusion I will never achieve my dream of being a Soul Train dancer...

   Dog the Bounty Hunter says it's not him. Increases reward to a Million dollars.

   All these people running around with masks on.... Made in China

   You know when Fall season has shown up. Crappy door wreaths everywhere.

   If you missed the 3 seasons of McCain's funeral you can now watch it on Netflix.

   Don't let Madonna speak at my funeral please...

   I took an Ambien and now I hate everyone....

   I just put (3) Bit-coins in the car wash and got a 30K wash. :(

   President Obama just stepped out of the White House on this Presidents Day and seen his shadow. Looks like we're in for another year of bullshit....

   Too bad the Kardashians drove off into a snow ditch and not off a cliff....

   anyone else having technical problems on Facebook? Just checking before I call 911...

   It is just a fact that some people are not comedians no matter how hard they try

   Kim and Kanye get married. Who cares? Ain't nobody got time for that....

   Ever have one of those days when you don't give a rats ass only to find that you pleased a rat ?

   Duck Commander releases new pen*s shape duck call just in time for the holidays.

   I'm sure the sale of duck calls to the gay community will be on the decline...

   I am thankful for bean dip. The wife is thankful for air-freshener.

   This just enforces the belief that people with mullets should not be raising children.

   Just found out my Homeowner's Insurance policy does not have adequate roof coverage that covers Meteors. It never ends.....